a journal entry

I was sifting back through the pages of my journal and came across this today. Thought I would share...

I want the words on this page to meet more than just my eyes.

I want these words to see and meet the world with much more than just a "hello" and "good-bye".

I want nothing more than for them to meet you where you're at,

to speak of what's in your heart.

Those thoughts and feelings you could never explain.

I want for these words to inspire, to ignite a fire like none other.

For them to spark a change in your heart and your mind.

To speak truth to dispel the lies.

I want these words to be so much more than me, sitting, listening, writing, thinking.

I want the words that I write, the words that I say to give light to my actions and why I live this way.

For this way is not my own,

and this world is not my home.

I have been purchased by the blood,

I have been vindicated by His sacrifice.

For nothing I do out of my own strength is of worth.

So I throw off my greed of self,

my obsession with my own strength.

I want nothing more than to be frail, to be broken, to be weak.

Because those are the moments when I feel beautiful,

with my hands to the sky and my face to the floor.

When everything in me aches for nothing more than a glimpse,

for even that will be enough-

just a touch of the hem will bring me closer, will draw me in, will satisfy this thirst.

Yet, You give me more, more than I could ever ask for, more than I realize.

You adorn me with grace, crown me with mercy, wash my feet with humility.

Who am I to deserve this?

If anything, I should be the one washing your feet,

anointing them with oil-

and that's what you ask, but in your sweet, tender way.

You beckon me to give You each day

to dream with You that this life can be so much more than it is right now.

Because you love me.

And those words I will never completely comprehend.

I'm in awe that my name and your love even are joined in a sentence together.

Because without you-

I belong nowhere near the town that holds the library, that has the book, that contains the sentence,

where it says You love me.

You have given me so much more than I could ever need-

You shower me with blessings and love me anyways-

You are my Father who loves me and because of this I choose to praise and exalt you.

You are the reason I live and breathe and move.

I found this after a week of learning, and I'm BLOWN AWAY, like no words to describe, no expression on my face can do justice, no volume used when speaking, could ever begin to express how GOOD Jesus is. This week, I've been reminded of His sweet faithfulness and timing. Of how He desires to teach me and draw me nearer every step. And God even used something I wrote months ago, to continue speaking to me. So my desire for including my journal entry was not to point at me in the least. My desire is to turn it back to Jesus, because without His goodness those words of love to Him would not have poured forth. He is the reason I write and move and breath and have being.

So lovelies, I hope you experience His goodness and love this week. He is faithful and just and absolutely adores you beyond your wildest dreams!
Much love,
Ky

oh audrey...

"I love people who make me laugh. I honestly think it's the thing I like most, to laugh. It cures a multitude of ills. It's probably the most important thing in a person." -Audrey Hepburn

Some simple little words from someone great. And oh how true they are :)

that overwhelmed feeling

I had a conversation with a friend recently about things that made us feel overwhelmed. Then I went to a shopping mall today. Yeah, needless to say, all the things we talked about came in to play as I quite literally spun in circles with a headache and no idea where I was. I really don't like that feeling. Of not knowing where I am or how to get back to where I started. And if I can't figure that out in a department store, how in the world am I suppose to maneuver everyday life?
"Well," Jesus says, "you're not."
My flesh recoils at those words. Because that means I CANNOT do it on my own. But I try. I try so hard. To make sure everything's in place, to align everything, schedule everything, have control over everything.
But then my good friend Jesus just chuckles and says, "Oh dear, come to me. You don't have to worry your sweet little head about all of that. And there's no reason to either, because you have no control over it all. I do."
I wonder sometimes why I so easily am alluded by the lie that I have control of my life. It's funny because I don't conciously wake up and decide I'm going to plan out every little aspect of my day and make sure I'm prepared for any interruption. It's strange. I feel sometimes like it's second nature. That's why my purse can never be too small, there always has to be a certain amount of stuff in it. Or why I walk out of my house every morning with three to four bags. Because if I do this or that, or if I need that, or if a friend needs this. Then I will be prepared.
But there have been those moments, and they draw me in with their simplicity and whimsy. That day, I spontaneously go somewhere, and no I didn't pack my swimsuit, but by golly I'm going to just swim in my shorts and t-shirt. Or when I forgot that extra bag at home, so I have to be creative or just a little icky and run without socks or wrap a friends gift in a paper bag. Those silly little moments. Those are when Jesus reminds me what freedom tastes like.

Ahh, the refreshing lyrics of the song "Suitcases" by Dara Maclean:

How can you move when they're weighing you down

What can you do when you're tied to the ground, yeah

You carry your burdens, heavy like gravity

Just let them go now, there's freedom in release



You can't run when you're holding suitcases

It's a new day throw away your mistakes and open up your heart

Lay down your guard, you don't have to be afraid



Just breathe, your load can be lifted

There's a better way when you know you're forgiven

Open up your heart, lay down your guard

You don't have to be afraid



Can you imagine what it's like to be free

Well, send those bags packing, they're not what you need

Abandon your troubles by the side of the street

Just let them go now, believe me



You can't run when you're holding suitcases Find More lyrics at www.sweetslyrics.com

It's a new day throw away your mistakes and open up your heart

Lay down your guard, you don't have to be afraid



Just breathe, your load can be lifted

There's a better way when you know you're forgiven

Open up your heart, lay down your guard

You don't have to be afraid



There's nothing holding you back now, just run



You can't run when you're holding suitcases

It's a new day throw away your mistakes and open up your heart

Lay down your guard, you don't have to be afraid



Just breathe, your load can be lifted

There's a better way when you know you're forgiven

Open up your heart, lay down your guard

You don't have to be

You don't have to be afraid


How lovely is that? So sweet, such a good reminder. So I guess I simply wrote a lot to say, I'm still learning. Still learning what love is. What True Freedom is. And what a wonderful awe-inspiring Savior my Best Friend is.
I hope everyone had a marvelous New Years! And that this year, you will walk by faith, hand in hand, with the one and only Redeemer and Creator of True Freedom.