breaky

One thing about breakfast, it always seems like it's over too soon. Isn't that true though? You eat the eggs, the pancakes, the oatmeal, whatever wonderfullness you've prepared and *snap* it's gone. It's quite a bummer really. Maybe it has something to do with that fact that you're not entirely awake, so your brain doesn't clue in to the idea of "breakfast" until it's almost over. Maybe that's why the whole breakfast for dinner concept is so enticing, because who wouldn't want to fully take in a big breakfast, bacon grease and all? And be completely conscious of the full meal.
Welp, I like breakfast, and this is a snapshot in to what my brain comes up with. Yep, kinda strange. I know :)

have yourself a merry little Christmas

*exhale* 

sleep

eat (real food)

-repeat-

This has been my life since last Thursday. Wowza, it's crazy to think I don't have class, or work, or tests, or last minute meetings, or review sessions for a month. Boy am I thankful for that. I am finally getting out of the above cycle as well, while all still necessary, the major recuperation period is over, and lovely little Christmas-ness is making it's way in to my daily activities.

Starting with a baking spree today with my dear friend Hannah. And man was it great to have her help in the kitchen. You see, Hannah is that friend in my life that when we're both older with families and kiddos, I will be jealous of. She cooks and bakes like no ones business, mind you as a college student. And bonus! She has a little bloggy too that she started to help clueless people like me stay healthy and sane by eating yummy, good-for-you food. So if you have the chance you should most definitely check her out at:

http://theblissfulgranola.blogspot.com/

In short the day was well spent, with three tasty treats concocted, Christmas tunes continually playing, countless cups of coffee consumed, and a viewing of "While You Were Sleeping" to seal a truly Christmas-esque day.

Here are the links to help you out (because goodness I couldn't have done this on my own)-

Dark Chocolate Pistachio Cranberry Bark:
http://withstyleandgraceblog.com/2011/12/13/dark-chocolate-bark-with-pistachios-and-sea-salt/

Lemon Poppy Seed Scones:
http://barefootandbaking.blogspot.com/search/label/bread

Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Muffin-Top Cookies:
http://www.roxanashomebaking.com/chocolate-chip-pumpkin-cookies-recipe-chocolateparty/

Hope you all have yourself a Merry Little Christmas!

when I don't know what lies before me...

There are days when I realize how much I don't know what the future holds. I like to have an idea of this. My mind even tells me for the most part, that I indeed, have control over what will happen in my life. Then there's today. My head is running, I'm feeling weak, I sure the heck have no idea what is going on. 

Yet, as I drove last night, I felt peace. It wasn't the "all is well and perfect, and I'm listening to John Mayer with my windows down and a cool breeze" kind of peace. It was His peace. Beyond understanding. And I sat there in awe of such a feeling, a feeling that transcended emotion and went deep in to my spirit. This is what it feels like to be at Home. To breathe deep of the goodness of our Father, knowing that He is the Arbiter and Guide. So as you and I venture forth today I leave you with some sweet words from our Papa:

"And the peace of God, which surpasses every thought, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." 

-Philippians 4:7

fall weekends.

big comfy sweaters & ice skates

football games & coffee shop work

learning to dance & late nights

baking sweet treats & fireside chats

fall weekends are my favorite.

hush

I feel dry. That's it. I feel like I'm waking up from a dream. There's been this fog all around me the past few weeks, one of busyness. A whirlwind of events. Not even events all the time, but occurrences. Small ones.

Go to class. Study. Go to class. Go to work. Eat dinner. See a friend. Study. Study. Study. 

I want to escape sometimes, from the "occurrences" of the everyday. To break from habit, to change the way I live out my day. I become tied to routine, something that used to be like an addiction to me. But now, it's a necessity some days. Just to stay in order, to do what I simply have to do.

So that's why I love moments like this. When I FINALLY get to write. Moments when I get to sit back and ask Papa questions. Moments when it's dark and cool and breezy, and I get to walk in the quiet of the night. I'm realizing more and more my need to listen. To shut up, stop going on, and just cease the noise. 

I've been reading Emily Freeman's blog "Chatting at the Sky". She's doing a series called "31 days to hush". Which seems quite appropriate to me, since there are many days when indeed a little hush on my end would be helpful to myself and others. On the softer side, it's a wonderful invitation to live life quietly, in expectation of conversation with the Father. Remembering that a conversation goes both ways. It's not simply us speaking to Him. He desires to whisper words of love back to us. Whether they be simple, guiding, or bold. All are beautiful. And we won't hear any of them if we don't hush. 

So why don't you join me in hushing this week? Let's see what Papa has to say.

coffee shop love & Yahweh

I love coffee shops. If you know me, this will come as no surprise to you. It will also be of no surprise to you that my dream is to own my very own coffee shop, and that I am sitting in a coffee shop right now. I love the sights and the sounds and the smells:

the whirring of milk being steamed
the strong, sweet smell of espresso
the bubbling of coffee brewing

the folks hunkered down to study in mismatch couches
the kindred spirits sharing and laughing in the corner
the baristas swift, yet precise making of drinks

...the fact that I've been sitting here for hours, a table covered in notes and post-its, and no one has questioned my temporary taking up residence in this little corner....These are reasons I love coffee shops....the list does go on, but I don't want to bore anyone with the crazy wanderings of my brain and heart when it comes to all things coffee.

What I would like to share is Wonder. Wonder at how the Lord works. Awe at the handiwork of my Father. I came to Aggieland with a dream in my back pocket and empty hands that were trying to grasp so tightly to familiarity. However, Papa had a different plan and gently opened my hands up, emptying them of all I tried to cling to-the comfortable that I thought would fulfill me.

So there I stood, with nothing....except for Him. Yahweh. I AM. And we walked, He told me life here wasn't going to look like it did back home, it wasn't going to feel like it, but that was what was exciting- this journey was and is new. Every single day.

And as this new journey began to unfold before my eyes, I could not help but turn my gaze Heaven-ward in awe of my Father.

He provides: within the first week here, I started a new job.
He is faithful: as I settled in, I already had brothers and sisters in Christ to fellowship with.
He is so good: every single day He walks with me.

He walks with me as I get lost, wandering for twenty more minutes than I meant.
He laughs with me as I attempt to ride my bike while talking on the phone.
He sits with me while I eat my lunch alone.

He is with me. Always. He is teaching me. Always. And as I sit here in this coffee shop and words flood my head, because I want to just write and write and write, He is my peace and clarity of mind.

My Father is good, do you know Him? Would you please seek Him? Ask Him to show you all the ways He loves you, all the ways He provides for you. He is faithful to teach and walk with His children. My prayer is you learn that today and every day becomes a deeper realization of those things.

Have a lovely day my sweet friends!



"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love he predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved. In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace, which he lavished upon us, in all wisdom and insight making known to us the mystery of his will, according to his purpose, which he set forth in Christ as a plan for the fullness of time, to unite all things in Him, things in heaven and on earth." -Ephesians 1:3-14

the launch...

A little delay, but I have launched off, at least to the next part of my journey. Which for me, includes Texas A&M University, a new job at Starbucks, and lately, the company of some lovely friends :)

Hopefully I'll keep up on here, so anyone who pleases, can stalk me at any moment from yet another source of social media. Or, you can just read and pretend like you're interested and not stalk me, I would much prefer that.

Now before my early morning deliria makes me say something else ridiculous, I'm going to go, but stay in tune for a post very soon! (Yes that rhymed....)

Have a wonderful day lovelies!

stationary (and not the kind you write on)

It always happens. It's funny how easily it slips in though, slowly, circling around. Stillness. Quiet.
Two wonderfully lovely things that I welcome with open arms especially on those days of chaos and confusion. They came sooner than they usually do, unpacking their bags and settling in without my noticing at first. Mainly because there visit was oh so perfect, it came at just the right time, after three weeks of running without a break.
But now those weeks are over. And Stillness and Quiet are still here.
And I panic a little because I don't know how to entertain these guests. They request that I sit, that I stop, that I slow down.
"But how?", I ask. I don't think I even remember what it's like to be stationary.
I know I long for them in the craziness of life. Just the way you long for those long, hot summer days when you're bundled up shivering in the cold. But once they get here and you've embraced, you wriggle away, because they keep holding on. And you don't know what to do. Or at least I don't know what to do.
Voices vie for my attention, and I'm amazed because they were once just another voice in the crowd of my head on those busy days. But now, they come to the front of the line because the rush is over, and they try to sell me their "product".
Lots of good. I don't deny, there are so many good "products", things I've always wanted to do but never had the time to. Then there's that pesty little solicitor, Mr. Obligation. He knows just what to say, he's been trained over time, and he knows I'm a sucker for everything he has to sell. All of his "ought-tos", "should-dos", "must-dos". He gets me everytime.
You'd think I would have learned by now. I mean, I have an entire cupboard full of magic blenders, super vacuums, miracle cleaners, and nifty tupperware.
Yet, here I go again. He walks up, opens his suitcase, and I politely ask, "What do you have today Mr. Obligation?". And boy oh boy, isn't he excited to pile it on. I mean, I must have the "Most Loyal Customer" status already, can't get much better than that!
Mr. Obligation is why I've been fighting with Stillness and Quiet all week. I'm afraid. Because I know once the crowd clears, Mr. O is always waiting, and I still don't know how to face him. I'm learning, I know. But I'm still just a student.
So here I am. Mr. O on one side and S and Q on the other. A familiar illustration huh?
I wanna choose to vacation with S and Q, instead of get tied down to another useless appliance that Mr. O is going to try and sell me. It's not going to be easy, I know because I've done it before.
I just pray for resilience, because as I choose the Quiet and the Stillness, I always have a Friend waiting for me there. One that never leaves, never hides, never heaps on useless "oughts", "shoulds" and "musts". One that invites me to sit down and talk, to pour out my heart and everything in it, without regard of judgement. One that cheers me to sing and dance with Him, to soak up all that He has graciously poured out on me. Oh what a Friend.
My prayer this week is for you and I both to allow Stillness and Quiet to unpack. And not just that, let them take the guest room, go crazy if you want to, tell them to put their belongings in the drawers and not just keep them in their suitcases.
Why? Because I promise you, they bring along a Friend. And my dears, He is the sweetest of them all, and you don't want to miss a chance to be with Him.

a calling

I spent a lot of the first semester of my sophomore year frustrated. I had spent the summer basking in God's love and desiring to tell every person I came in contact with about Him. I wanted to quit school and go to Africa, build an orphanage, tell people about Jesus, and love on little kiddos. I didn't understand why I had to sit in class and learn about the US Presidents of years past or work endless algebra problems. It all just didn't seem to fit.
So I started to pray. I asked God why I was where I was, what purpose all of this seemingly monotonous work had, and why I couldn't just jump on a plane the very next morning.
He replied, with His own sweet words, with conversations I had with brothers and sisters in Christ, and with His written Word. He seemed to be repeatedly telling me, "Your mission field is here. You don't have to go the ends of the Earth necessarily, you come in contact with people that need to hear of my love every single day." With those words, and the words the Spirit spoke through others I came to realize the "purpose of the monotonous".
After reading this article I was again reminded of those prayers I prayed two years and the answers I recieved from the Ever-Faithful God Almighty. A verse that began to plant itself in my heart was Colossians 3:23 which says, "Whatever you do, work heartily, as if for the Lord and not for men." Man, what if we lived like this everyday? I think people would see a difference. And what an awesome chance to be a living testimony, to live passionately and whole-heartedly, not passively and disinterested.
I think as Christians we often search for a specific "calling" from God, whether it be working in an orphanage in a third-world country or teaching at an inner-city school. Two things I believe He certainly places people in the position to do. However, a lot of times our search for a "calling" can be laced with our own selfish desire to escape the "trap" that we feel is our everyday life. We want to hop on a plane and fly somewhere unfamiliar and exciting. And there most definitely isn't anything wrong or bad about that necessarily. It's just that sometimes we get too caught up in what we want. We want too badly to have a new adventure. But God is calling us to an adventure every single day. Sometimes that excursion includes a plane ticket, a language barrier, and possible food poisoning. Other times it involves an alarm clock, a backpack, a desk in a classroom, a work uniform, and a family dinner.
Either way He is calling us unto Himself. His calling on our lives is to love and be loved. One of the sweetest scriptures that I believe depicts the adventure Jesus calls us to is Romans 8:15-17.

"This resurrection life you recieved from God is not a timid, grave-tending life. It's adventurously expectant, greeting God with a childlike "What's next, Papa?" God's Spirit touches our spirits and confirms who we really are. We know who he is, and we know who we are: Father and children. And we know we are going to get what's coming to us-an unbelievable inheritance! We go through exactly what Christ goes through. If we go through the hard times with him, then we're certainly going to go through the good times with him!"

Isnt' that splendid? What a beautiful depiction of the life Papa desires to live with us! A calling to be loved by the Father, love Him in return, and love those we come in contact with everyday. So whether you are in some far off land or still "stuck" in the same town, with the same people, doing the same things, God is calling you. Will you listen?





beauty

I'm not one to run forward with a flag for a cause, passionate and fuming, ready to take down those that oppose my stance. (And I don't mean that to say, I don't have strong views on certain things, it's just that I tend to be pretty even keel) But after viewing this short video and reading this article something hit me:
http://moms.today.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2012/02/24/10498893-teen-girls-ask-the-internet-am-i-ugly

This story hit me. It hit me because it's so close to home. I've struggled there, I have friends who have struggled there, and I walk by so many beautiful girls at school, work, in town, every single day, that look in the mirror and ask that question. The one question, some are bold enough to ask, flat out, but others hide inside, truly wanting an answer, but maybe fearing what they'll hear. 
"Am I beautiful?"
It breaks my heart. I hear that and all I want to do is scream "YES!! You are beautiful! You are exquisitely unique and wonderfully made! And the Creator of the Universe looks at you in awe of his creation, calling you to Himself, calling you to His security and love."
You may have heard the "you are beautiful" message before. You may be saying, "Okay, yeah, whatever. It's not like I haven't been told that atleast once before, and yeah it felt good. But what about a week later? A month later? A year later? I still wake up sometimes and ask myself that question." So do I.
But I wonder how our view would change, if instead of looking in the mirror, instead of looking at comments on our facebook photos, instead of manipulating conversation so that someone will affirm us; what if in that moment, as that question wells up within us, instead of looking to all of those others things to tell us our worth-
we asked God this simple question,
"Am I beautiful?"
Because this God created the Heavens and the Earth. He placed each star in the sky, positioned it perfectly, gave it it's light, and said "Shine!" And that's what they do, each and every night without fail. I am confident that every night I can walk out on my front porch and see the sky lit up, stars precisely scattered, lovely in simplicity, but beautiful in complexity. Simple, yet stunning.
That's you. Lovely. Beautiful. Complex. Stunning.
You have been placed in this moment perfectly, positioned just right, given a light, and Jesus is calling you to Shine!
I promise you, I'm trying my hardest not to sound cliche, but it's true. When it all comes down to it, Jesus loves you. His words, the Truth spoken directly from His lips, are Forever. They aren't a temporary comment, they are for Eternity. And when the God of all Creation says to you,
"You are beautiful, my daughter, my love." I don't think that should be taken lightly.
Because think about it-the God who created Earth, the stars, pomegrantes, the wind, little birdies and flowers, the God who sent Jesus, who said, "let me take on their sin, so that they may have everlasting life", the God who woke you up this morning, who is the Provider, the Guardian, Papa, God Almighty, the First and Last, Jesus, the Savior, the Redeemer, the One and Only, YAHWEH,
he says, "You are beautiful. Let that be enough. Come to me. I love you."

Isn't that wonderful? Isn't that delightful? There aren't enough whimsical, lovely words that could ever display the awe those words, that Truth, creates in me. He is good. He is SO good. Come to Him. Let Him wrap you in His arms because you are BEAUTIFUL, love. Just ask God. :)

ahhhhh.....

Wow. Such a good weekend. I got to:     

drive a long time, which happens to be one of my favorite things

do a little shopping in unique, new places

learn the art of one-way streets and not driving the wrong direction on them

wait in a long line and run in to a couple of friends

see...wait for it....BEN RECTOR & NEEDTOBREATHE!!

have midnight pancakes and a birthday celebration in ihop

discover that i'm a huge fan of GPS devices and the non-confusion they create

sing, dance, & laugh with four wonderfully great people

Yes. This weekend was good. Now for another one of my favorite things: naptime :)

a journal entry

I was sifting back through the pages of my journal and came across this today. Thought I would share...

I want the words on this page to meet more than just my eyes.

I want these words to see and meet the world with much more than just a "hello" and "good-bye".

I want nothing more than for them to meet you where you're at,

to speak of what's in your heart.

Those thoughts and feelings you could never explain.

I want for these words to inspire, to ignite a fire like none other.

For them to spark a change in your heart and your mind.

To speak truth to dispel the lies.

I want these words to be so much more than me, sitting, listening, writing, thinking.

I want the words that I write, the words that I say to give light to my actions and why I live this way.

For this way is not my own,

and this world is not my home.

I have been purchased by the blood,

I have been vindicated by His sacrifice.

For nothing I do out of my own strength is of worth.

So I throw off my greed of self,

my obsession with my own strength.

I want nothing more than to be frail, to be broken, to be weak.

Because those are the moments when I feel beautiful,

with my hands to the sky and my face to the floor.

When everything in me aches for nothing more than a glimpse,

for even that will be enough-

just a touch of the hem will bring me closer, will draw me in, will satisfy this thirst.

Yet, You give me more, more than I could ever ask for, more than I realize.

You adorn me with grace, crown me with mercy, wash my feet with humility.

Who am I to deserve this?

If anything, I should be the one washing your feet,

anointing them with oil-

and that's what you ask, but in your sweet, tender way.

You beckon me to give You each day

to dream with You that this life can be so much more than it is right now.

Because you love me.

And those words I will never completely comprehend.

I'm in awe that my name and your love even are joined in a sentence together.

Because without you-

I belong nowhere near the town that holds the library, that has the book, that contains the sentence,

where it says You love me.

You have given me so much more than I could ever need-

You shower me with blessings and love me anyways-

You are my Father who loves me and because of this I choose to praise and exalt you.

You are the reason I live and breathe and move.

I found this after a week of learning, and I'm BLOWN AWAY, like no words to describe, no expression on my face can do justice, no volume used when speaking, could ever begin to express how GOOD Jesus is. This week, I've been reminded of His sweet faithfulness and timing. Of how He desires to teach me and draw me nearer every step. And God even used something I wrote months ago, to continue speaking to me. So my desire for including my journal entry was not to point at me in the least. My desire is to turn it back to Jesus, because without His goodness those words of love to Him would not have poured forth. He is the reason I write and move and breath and have being.

So lovelies, I hope you experience His goodness and love this week. He is faithful and just and absolutely adores you beyond your wildest dreams!
Much love,
Ky

oh audrey...

"I love people who make me laugh. I honestly think it's the thing I like most, to laugh. It cures a multitude of ills. It's probably the most important thing in a person." -Audrey Hepburn

Some simple little words from someone great. And oh how true they are :)

that overwhelmed feeling

I had a conversation with a friend recently about things that made us feel overwhelmed. Then I went to a shopping mall today. Yeah, needless to say, all the things we talked about came in to play as I quite literally spun in circles with a headache and no idea where I was. I really don't like that feeling. Of not knowing where I am or how to get back to where I started. And if I can't figure that out in a department store, how in the world am I suppose to maneuver everyday life?
"Well," Jesus says, "you're not."
My flesh recoils at those words. Because that means I CANNOT do it on my own. But I try. I try so hard. To make sure everything's in place, to align everything, schedule everything, have control over everything.
But then my good friend Jesus just chuckles and says, "Oh dear, come to me. You don't have to worry your sweet little head about all of that. And there's no reason to either, because you have no control over it all. I do."
I wonder sometimes why I so easily am alluded by the lie that I have control of my life. It's funny because I don't conciously wake up and decide I'm going to plan out every little aspect of my day and make sure I'm prepared for any interruption. It's strange. I feel sometimes like it's second nature. That's why my purse can never be too small, there always has to be a certain amount of stuff in it. Or why I walk out of my house every morning with three to four bags. Because if I do this or that, or if I need that, or if a friend needs this. Then I will be prepared.
But there have been those moments, and they draw me in with their simplicity and whimsy. That day, I spontaneously go somewhere, and no I didn't pack my swimsuit, but by golly I'm going to just swim in my shorts and t-shirt. Or when I forgot that extra bag at home, so I have to be creative or just a little icky and run without socks or wrap a friends gift in a paper bag. Those silly little moments. Those are when Jesus reminds me what freedom tastes like.

Ahh, the refreshing lyrics of the song "Suitcases" by Dara Maclean:

How can you move when they're weighing you down

What can you do when you're tied to the ground, yeah

You carry your burdens, heavy like gravity

Just let them go now, there's freedom in release



You can't run when you're holding suitcases

It's a new day throw away your mistakes and open up your heart

Lay down your guard, you don't have to be afraid



Just breathe, your load can be lifted

There's a better way when you know you're forgiven

Open up your heart, lay down your guard

You don't have to be afraid



Can you imagine what it's like to be free

Well, send those bags packing, they're not what you need

Abandon your troubles by the side of the street

Just let them go now, believe me



You can't run when you're holding suitcases Find More lyrics at www.sweetslyrics.com

It's a new day throw away your mistakes and open up your heart

Lay down your guard, you don't have to be afraid



Just breathe, your load can be lifted

There's a better way when you know you're forgiven

Open up your heart, lay down your guard

You don't have to be afraid



There's nothing holding you back now, just run



You can't run when you're holding suitcases

It's a new day throw away your mistakes and open up your heart

Lay down your guard, you don't have to be afraid



Just breathe, your load can be lifted

There's a better way when you know you're forgiven

Open up your heart, lay down your guard

You don't have to be

You don't have to be afraid


How lovely is that? So sweet, such a good reminder. So I guess I simply wrote a lot to say, I'm still learning. Still learning what love is. What True Freedom is. And what a wonderful awe-inspiring Savior my Best Friend is.
I hope everyone had a marvelous New Years! And that this year, you will walk by faith, hand in hand, with the one and only Redeemer and Creator of True Freedom.