intentions

Intentions. Mine are usually good. Especially for this blog. I had intentions of writing lovely little things every week, but then life got crazy, and write I did not. Not the first time that’s happened. It’s funny, my last blog I came up with these “parameters” for myself on how often I would write. I even published them in a post because then the world would be my accountability. Ha. Yeah, that didn’t worky.

 I knew I wanted this blog to be different though, I didn’t want rules to define how often I wrote. My reasoning for this would be a long explanation, including a bit of my testimony. So I guess a little is this:  I tend to lean towards structure, schedules offer security, calendars give me control, but there is no freedom in law, only bondage. Jesus had to teach me that. And sometimes that was hard, because it meant things not going my way, my plans getting thwarted, but once I reached that point where  all I could do was crawl up on Papa’s lap and meekly say, “Daddy, I can’t. Please show me because I know you can,” that moment was freeing. It was like dancing in the rain. That feeling when the water falls in big droplets on your skin, your bare feet slosh in a puddle, and you just spin and dance-because isn’t that the best thing to do in the rain? So that is what Jesus seems to be continually teaching me and walking me through, and it is why I chose not to set “parameters” on myself in writing.

For me writing is one of the most creative outlets I know. Words have weight, they are lovely and meaningful, and can be shallow or deep, depending on how they are spoken/written and what they speak of and to. That’s why I write, because I love words and the power they have. “I do.” “It is finished.” “Carpe diem.”  And on and on…words are everywhere (and don’t worry I’ll try to insert amazing world truths you haven’t thought of like that one as often as possible). So I guess I’ve come to the conclusion that I have good intentions about this blog, but that may mean I go for months without ever writing. And while the part of me that thrives on planners and organization is screaming “NO! Don’t do it!” there is another part of me that is taking a big deep breath, sitting back, and wondering what whimsical thing will come next in life, and if I’ll get the chance to write about it. And if I don’t that’ll be alright because what’s the use of having a life if you’re just gonna write about it, and not out there living it?